Sitting in the kitchen sink

I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. I’ve always been short for my age, and I pride myself on my contortionist skills. My mother, who has dwarfism like me, regularly has to stand on some kitchen steps to wash the potatoes.

But here I sit, in the sink, swishing the bubbles to and fro. Randy Newman is playing on the radio, ‘Short People’, and I sing along with as much gusto as my tiny frame can muster. I find the song funny, but I accept that I am in the minority. If my dad were home he’d bound in and turn the radio off in anger.

I used to be bullied at school because of my lack of height, but after I started tutoring some of the bullies with their English and Maths homework, I’ve been left alone. A new kid came to school and started ripping into me, but when the other bullies found out they all went round and knocked the snot out of him.