I still love you

Julie Montgomery was blessed with two parents who still loved each other as much as they loved their only child. When Julie was only two years of age Miriam, Julie’s mother, was ‘ruined’ internally by a violent home invasion that left her viciously raped and unable to have any more children. After the incident Miriam used her patients at her own psychiatric clinic to heal herself, by grieving for them rather than herself. The displacement worked—she was able to put the events behind her and psychologically rejoin her family after a mere six months. David, her stockbroker husband, did all he could to smooth Miriam’s path and in Miriam’s eyes lifted his game so high that she was both in awe and exceptionally grateful.

Julie’s childhood was idyllic—her own horse, family holidays overseas, the latest electronics, birthday parties where her friends would relax around the pool and listen to their music as loud as they liked, with no grown ups telling them to turn it down, or shouting, ‘that’s not music!’ For her 16th birthday, her parents gave her a white 3-series BMW, her favourite colour. She loved wearing white, and there was always a housekeeper to wash and iron the clothes for her. 

When Julie turned 18 her father called her into his study, where her mother was waiting with a stern frown on her face. Her father grimaced as he sat down in his swivel chair and beckoned Julie to sit in the other lounge chair. ‘Julie, you know how much your mother and I love you, yes?’

‘Of course, I couldn’t feel more loved.’

‘And tomorrow is your eighteenth birthday, is it not?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, your mother and I have been talking, and we’ve come to the conclusion that you are old enough to take the responsibility to move out of your home.’

‘WHAT!?’

‘Yes. We are kicking you out. Not because you have done anything wrong. I’m sure we would know if you have a drug habit, or are dating a tattooed bikie. Or if you are pregnant and don’t know who the father is. But it is high time you gained some independence.’

‘But I’m half way through my degree, looking for a place to rent will be a horrible distraction that will probably affect my marks and my chances of getting into a Masters programme.’

David turned slightly towards his wife and if you looked closely you would see an almost imperceptible smile flitter across his face as fast as a snap surge of electricity. 

‘Yes, I can see how having to find a place to rent would be a distraction.’

‘Yes! Can’t you wait until the uni year is over? I’ll have plenty of time to find a place then.’

‘No, your mother and my minds are made up. You have to move out the day after your birthday.’

‘DADDY!’

‘WHAT?’

‘What have I done wrong? Why are you being so cruel?’

‘Okay, well maybe we have been a little harsh. What if we try and meet you half way? What does Malvern sound like?’

‘It’s a lovely suburb, why?’

‘Perhaps we could help you find a place to live in Malvern? You’d still be near us so you could drop in for dinner any time, and as you say it’s a lovely suburb. Why don’t we go for a drive and see if we can find any rentals there?’

‘I can look at the rental sites on my phone, Daddy, so we can see right now if there is anything worth looking at. But I still think it’s cruel what you are doing to me.’

‘Let’s hop in my car and head over there now. You can search on your phone while I’m driving.’

Unley to Malvern isn’t very far and Julie barely had time to run a search on one real estate website before her father stopped outside an old brick cottage that had attractive climbing plants over the front of it, a bullnose verandah and a small but well-kept garden.

‘What do you think of this, dear?’ Julie’s mother asked.

‘I can’t find it on any of the rental sites,’ Julie replied. ‘How do you know it’s for rent?’

‘I know the owner,’ her father replied. ‘Shall we go in and have a look?’

‘How are we going to do that? Do you have a key or something?’

‘I said I know the owner, they lent me a key, and it’s a vacant house.’

All three entered the house and moved about, inspecting each room. In Julie’s eyes, the kitchen and bathroom were old and needed remodelling, but other than that…

‘What do you think, dear?’ asked her mother.

‘It’s cute, that’s for sure. And very pretty. There’s a few things that need updating, and a coat of paint throughout wouldn’t hurt…’

‘Could you see yourself living here?’ asked her mother.

‘Sure, if I had to.’

‘Could you see yourself living here a long time, at least as long as it takes to complete your Masters?’ her father asked.

‘Oh sure. Do you know how much the owner wants for it? Will I have to rent out the other bedrooms?’

‘I don’t know,’ her father replied.

‘Do you want to rent out the rooms to strangers?’

‘I’d prefer not. Do you know how much the owner wants a week?’

‘Nothing, I would imagine.’

‘What? Who is this crazy owner?’

‘You.’

‘WHAT?’

Julie’s mother and father smiled huge smiles and hugged each other in joy.

‘You see, dear, we bought you this house as an eighteenth present. This house is technically ours, but once you sign some papers with our lawyer you will be the rightful owner. It’s completely up to you what you do with the place, if you rent out rooms and so on.’

‘Naturally, we will help you out with things like bills, council rates, and so on, at least until you are earning after you graduate,’ her father said.

‘Oh, mummy and daddy, I am completely stunned. I don’t know what to say! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!’

‘You are very welcome, Julie,’ said her father. ‘All you need to tell us is what colours you want the interior and exterior painted and we’ll have a painter come in and paint the house before you move in.’

***

The train tracks at Marino Rocks in Adelaide’s south run next to the sea, and run infrequently. So much so that a young couple can walk them during the noonday sun with little fear of being killed. Luke’s working class parents lived nearby.

‘I love you’

‘I love you too’

‘Which is why I want to break up,’ Julie said.

‘What?!’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘Well, for one thing you do nothing to help me around my house. You laze around on the couch, you don’t pack or unpack the dishwasher, I have to repair anything that gets broken because you say you can’t even drive a screwdriver, Luke.’ She uncrossed her arms and relaxed into the conversation.

‘Okay, I’ll change, I promise. I’ll help you more.’

‘I want to break up because I love you still and I want the memory of my first live-in boyfriend to be a positive one. We don’t fight, but our life together is boring and I can only see it getting more and more boring as we stay together.’

‘I can’t believe you’re saying this,’ he said. ‘How can you be so cruel?’

‘There’s something else you need to know, which will help your next girlfriend. You’re not so hot in bed.’

‘WHAT?’

‘It’s true. I have faked all my orgasms to make you feel good about yourself, but in all honesty, Luke, you need to lift your game.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’ Luke shook his head, unable to process what she was saying. Nineteen years old, compared to Julie’s twenty-one, he was handsome for a second-year undergraduate and that’s why Julie, the most attractive brunette in her clinical psychology Masters course, initially fell for him. Julie’s friends, all from wealthy families, had counselled her when Julie and Luke first dated, suggesting that the difference in ability to support themselves would cause problems.

Julie had fallen hard for Luke and put her friends’ concerns to one side. Still focused on her Masters programme, she helped Luke deal with his first and second undergraduate years and mentored him, and under her guidance and advice he blossomed, achieving higher marks than he would have without her. They had taken frequent weekends away with each other, usually around Clare and the Barossa, but occasionally they slipped down to Normanville and Second Valley, where Julie felt spiritually at home; she loved staying in the quaint cottages. Julie always paid for everything, including the meals. Luke did his best to contribute, sometimes paying for the fuel.

But now Luke was faced with having to move out, to leave the comfort of an established house and regular sex. He’d always thought he was good at sex, that he was an attentive lover and not focused just on his own pleasure, but now he had to deal with the shattering of that illusion. He was sure there were plenty of websites and relationship gurus who would give him advice.

‘When do you want me to move out?’

‘Well, I know the rental market is tight, so I’m not expecting you to be able to find a place immediately. But I do want you to move into the spare bedroom, please.’

***

Six weeks later, Julie finally found herself alone in her home. Luke had moved in with some course mates in a shared house in Lightsview, the other side of town. She slid into the driver’s seat of her BMW and drove to her parent’s home, inviting herself to dinner.

‘Mum, Luke has finally moved out. I thought you’d be glad to know.’

‘I liked the boy, but I don’t think he was the right one for you.’

‘You mean he wasn’t rich.’

‘He wouldn’t be able to take care of you, dear, and the two of you would never be able to afford to go away on overseas holidays without you picking up the whole bill.’

‘You’re probably right, mummy.’

‘You look troubled, Julie, what’s the matter?’

‘Oh, it’s probably nothing. I’ve missed my period, that’s all.’

‘You don’t think…’

‘No, I’m sure it’s alright. Study has been stressful this semester, maybe the stress has interfered with my cycle.’

‘I’m sure you’re right, dear. Still, you can’t be too careful. Did you use contraception with Luke?’

‘Of course. And you know I take the pill.’

‘Then why don’t we make an appointment with Dr Harrison? Maybe he will shed some light.’

‘No, it’s alright. I’ll call into the chemist on the way home tonight and pick up a pregnancy test, just to be on the safe side.’

‘What will you do if it says you are pregnant?’

‘I haven’t thought that far ahead, mummy. Let’s deal with that bridge when it comes, if it comes. Now, change of subject—what’s for dinner?’

***

Julie unboxed the pregnancy kit, laid the contents out on her kitchen bench and studied the information sheet. She figured she could urinate on the wand without too much trouble so she walked into the toilet, urinated, and her heart involuntarily stuttered.

‘Mummy, I bought a pregnancy test kit. I’m pregnant.’

‘Oh, baby! I don’t know whether to be happy or sad. What are you feeling?’

‘Certainly not elation. I’m not ready to have a baby. I feel numb, mummy, like I’ve been run over by a B-double.’

‘Your father is not going to be pleased. He’d be concerned not only for your physical and mental health, but also for your studies. He’d want you to focus on your studies and your working future above all else.’

‘I know. I’ve never wanted to disappoint either of you.’

‘You haven’t disappointed me, dear, I just want the best for you, and want whatever you want.’

‘I’m still in shock, but I’m already tossing up in my mind whether to keep the baby or abort it.’

‘Well, the decision is always yours, and your father and I will always support your decision. If you choose to abort, your father and I know a doctor and her team who can take care of things for you.’

‘Thanks mummy. Can you keep this a secret from daddy, at least until I know what I’m going to do?’

‘I can’t dear, sorry. Your father and I hide no secrets from each other, it is a fundamental rule of our marriage. That way we never have to worry about what we’ve said or not said, what we’ve kept from each other. We’ve had this rule since our engagement and I’m sure it’s one reason why our marriage has lasted.’

‘Okay, I’ll ring him later tonight. Can you wait until then before you discuss it with him? I’d like the news to come from me.’

‘Of course, dear.’